Pay Back

Do you fart in bed ?

If this story doesn’t make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and 

 I’ll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married 

for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting 

loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the 

smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning

she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. 

He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to 

see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The 

years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, 

as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, 

she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious

thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband 

was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the 

elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

 Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which 

was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps 

as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled

 on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned 

she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came

 downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. 

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right…

 all these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.” “What do you mean?”

 asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting 

my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline 

and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in………..”