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By the Balls

A little old lady went into the Bank of America one day carrying a bag of money.  She insists that she must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings  account because it’s a lot of money. They finally get her into the president’s office and he asks her how much she would like to deposit. She says she has $165,000 and then dumps it out of the bag  onto his desk. The president was surprised and of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asks her. The old lady says, “I make bets.” The president replies, “Bets? What kind of bets?” and she says, “For example, I’ll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square.” “Ha!” says the president, “That’s a stupid bet, you can never win that kind of bet.” The old lady says, “So, would you like to take my bet?” “Sure,” says the president, “I’ll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!” The little old lady says, “OK, but since there is a lot of money involved is it OK with ...

Best Divorce Letter Ever

Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and  that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and  didn't even notice I had a new haircut,  had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.  You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Dear Ex-Husband, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you and I have  been marr...