Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I've been a good
man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks
have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and
that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut,
had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.
You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects
us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore;
whatever the case, I’m gone.
man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks
have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and
that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut,
had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.
You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects
us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore;
whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together!
Have a great life!
Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you and I have
been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping
Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing
that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not
to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those
new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still
on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed
$50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could
work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us 2
tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for
a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping
Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing
that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not
to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those
new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still
on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed
$50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could
work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us 2
tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for
a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that’s not a problem.
I hope that’s not a problem.
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