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Not Everybody Pays

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every now and then, a $50 bill fell out onto the footpath. Noticing this, a cop stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $50 bills falling Out of that bag.” “Oh, rats! Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer..” “Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. “Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?” “Oh, no, no”, said the old lady. “You see, my yard is right next to the baseball stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through a hole in the fence, right into my garden. It used to really annoy me and kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the most of it?’ So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my shears. Every time some guy sticks his dingus through my fence, I surprise him, Grab hold of it a
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Abracadabra

A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.” “Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband” said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and ‘ abracadabra! ‘ two tickets for the new Queen Mary 2 luxury liner appeared in her hands. Now it was the husbands turn. He thought for a moment and said: “Well this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me”. The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish… So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick and – abracadabra! the husband became 92 years old

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